Questions to ask a loved one for your personal growth.

“Asking questions is one of the best ways to grow as a human being” — Michael Hyatt

Maybe this is something that you would be open to exploring?

Just the other month in the car coming home from a mountain visit, I was telling my daughter about when we went to her grandfather’s funeral. It was towards the end of my pregnancy. We visited his very elderly mother who put her hands on my belly to connect with her.

There is much more that I am yet to share with my daughter about that side of her family history. The right moment will come and I’m sure there is more we could find out too.

But the questions I have yet to ask my own mother, because in this case I still can, feel somewhat more pressing.

It means taking some time, right?

Taking time out of our busy lives to inquire and listen

And this realization that the people who hold that history will not be around forever may crack you up emotionally somewhat… I know that it does me on occasion — and that’s totally OK. I call it ‘sweet grief’ (more about that another time).

In essence, learning parts of your history can create major opportunities for inner work and clearing of possibly unhealthy patterns born out the past experiences of our ancestors.

Let us realise the importance of our history and the healing that can bring!

And it also may feel scary.

Like… do I want to know the answers? Will it open a can of worms?

Well… maybe!!

If you need help with nurturing your nervous system and expanding your capacity to receive the information then do let me know (and if this sounds like gobbledegook… get in touch and I can tell you more)

It is actually being realised through all the inner work that people are doing these days (brilliant!!) that not only can we change these patterns, break the cycles and so on, but we can also energetically change some of the past and how it impacts us now.

It’s something that is really quite hard to explain in words I find, because it is so experiential. I think that as a stand alone process this is known as Genealogical Regression. I have used it as an integration to Journey Process work.

In one of my most impactful inner processes that involved my ancestors, the imagery I was left with was rather beautiful, and… it may sound nuts to you… but it looked like this: the people went from being dark, unhealthy, covered in soot and with little resources.. pretty miserable.. to looking happy, working together, caring for each other and being surrounded by colourful fruits and vegetables.

And I have been honoured to witness countless other people have similar experiences, cutting cords, feeling free from the binds of their ancestral wound, healing, growing and allowing their true nature to shine through ✨

Back to what YOU can do now

A few years ago, I asked my mum a question along the lines of question 14 below. “What were the hardest times in your life mum?”

After listening to her answers I realized how much I had seen my mum as this unbreakable woman, a force so stable and strong. She had had to be that. This certainly helped me in my inner work, allowing me to see her softer, more vulnerable side which in turn allowed me to feel more forgiveness towards her.

So, here you have 32 questions to ask your parents, elders and loved ones while they’re still with you.

These questions come from a post by Brendan Buchard. I believe he wrote them with his father in mind, but you can apply them to whomever you want.

“My father’s response to question #31 below? “Be yourself. Be honest. Do your best. Take care of your family. Treat people with respect. Be a good citizen. Follow your dreams.” — Brendon Buchard

If you do choose to do this, remember that you might want to record the conversation too!

It’s wonderful not just for yourself but to share this with the little ones in your family as they start to grow up and appreciate hearing it.

❤️ INTERVIEW SOMEONE YOU LOVE ABOUT LIFE ❤️

1. What comes to mind when you think about growing up in [hometown]?

2. What did you love to do as a kid, before high school?

3. What did you love to do in high school?

4. What do you remember most about your teenage years?

5. What do you remember most about your mom (grandma)?

6. What was most important to her?

7. What do you remember most about your dad (grandpa)?

8. What was most important to him?

9. If grandma and grandpa had a message to you and their grandchildren, what do you think it is?

10. How did you meet [spouse] and know (s)he was the one?

11. How did you choose your career and what was your favorite part about it?

12. What made you successful at work?

13. What did you believe about yourself that helped you become successful and deal with hard times?

14. What times in your life truly “tested your mettle,” and what did you learn about yourself by dealing (or not dealing) with them?

15. What three events most shaped your life?

16. What do you remember about when each of us was born?

17. Were you ever scared to be a parent?

18. What three words would you say represented your approach to parenting and why?

19. When you think about [sibling] how would you describe him?

20. What message do you have for [sibling] that you want him to always keep in mind?

[Do the last two questions above for each sibling in your family]

21. When you think about [spouse], how would you describe her/him?

22. What message do you have for [spouse] that you want her/him to always keep in mind?

23. What three words would you say best describe who you tried to be in life and how you want to be remembered?

24. When they think about their careers, what do you want your children to focus on?

25. What have you learned about other people in life? (trustworthy, kind or not and mean)?

26. What do you think the world needs more of right now?

27. What do you believe people want the most in life?

28. What were the three best decisions you’ve ever made?

29. What are you most proud of in life?

30. What were five of the most positive moments of your life?

31. What message would you like to share with your family?

32. What are you most thankful for?

I hope you find time to use these questions and receive some wisdom, inspiration, maybe even some gentle triggers in the answers 😊

xx